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Why I’d Want All The Collars

Esther F Gorden

I remember the shock on my fiancée’s face when I said I wasn’t going to wear my wedding ring every day.  It was a modern, classic, slim diamond baguette style that I favored, AND I felt I was going to need alternate choices like a plain gold band for going to the gym, and perhaps something a little more tailored (but not diamond studded) for work, and most definitely a “faux” cubic zirconia version for vacations.

What my fiancée didn’t understand was that jewelry for me wasn’t a symbol, it was ornamentation.  For me, love and commitment resided in my heart, not on my fingers.  Jewelry should be fun, and a personal expression of fashion and style!  Right?

However, symbols and rituals are an important part of the society we live in, and especially surrounding engagements, weddings, and commitment ceremonies.  

Wedding jewelry is both a public and private statement of love and want, and it can feel like the bigger the diamond, or the more ornate the collar, the bigger the love must be.  Our commitments are on display, forged in metal, where usually one is enough.

The question I have is if you’re following a BDSM lifestyle, is one collar enough? Are you like me and need a variety of commitment symbols to accessorize the different occasions in your life?  Something discreet for work, or colorful for a day in the park, or fancy for a party?

My friend Alesandra from would suggest you need only two.  You can read her blog post, “BDSM Collars: The Only 2 Types You Need” here,

Do you agree with Alesandra, or are you like me and would want all the collars?  Come back and add your comments below. 

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